Difference between revisions of "Ronald Wilson Reagan"

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[[Image:Gorbachev reagan bush.gif|right|250px|thumb]]
 
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'''Ronald Wilson Reagan '''(February 6, 1911- June 5, 2004) was the fortieth [[President of the United States]] from 1981 to 1989, following [[Democrat]] [[Jimmy Carter]] and preceding [[Republican]] [[George H. W. Bush]]. Considered by some [[conservative]]s to be the greatest American President, Ronald Reagan is often credited with leading America peacefully through the Cold War, lowering taxes (despite supporting major tax increases in the Tax Equity and Fiscal Responsibility Act and the Highway Revenue Act)[http://www.nationalreview.com/nrof_bartlett/bartlett200310290853.asp], promoting a free economy, and staunchly opposing [[socialism]] and [[communism]].
 
  
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Reagan is often credited by conservatives for ending the Cold War in victory for the United States. Historian Tony Judt in ''Postwar'' credits Soviet leader Mikhail Gorbachev, while the political scientist Jan Kubik presents a viewpoint that credits [[Pope John Paul II]][http://praguepost.com/articles/2007/02/28/letters-to-the-editor.php]. Other historians contend structural weaknesses within the Communist bloc meant Reagan's actions were inconsequential to the end of communism.  This is the view adopted by Russians themselves, and most political historians, citing [''perestroika''] and [''glasnost''] as beginning an inevitable slow fading of central power, and a collapse by irreconcilable differences between the central Soviet [[Politburo]] and the constituent republics, especially the [[Ukraine]].<ref>David Remnick, "Lenin's Tomb</ref>
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|+ Ronald Reagan Memorial Datatable
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! Buildings and Structures!! Roads and Highways !! Others
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Presidential Library
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| Ronald Reagan Expressway ||
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USS Ronald Reagan
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse
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|Ronald Reagan Turnpike ||Planet Ronald Reagan
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan High School
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|Ronald Reagan Memorial Highway ||Ronald Reagan Memorial Governorship of California
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man Emporium
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|Ronald Reagan Avenue ||Ronald Reagan Island
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Adult Outlet
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|Ronald Reagan Tunnel||
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Airport
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|Ronald Reagan Bridge||
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|-
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| Ronald Reagan Memorial [[United States House of Representatives|House of Representatives]]
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|Ronald Reagan Street||Ronald Reagan Harbour and Ronald Reagan Shipyard, Pago Pago (or just "Pago"), American Samoa
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|}
  
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Reagan was strongly opposed to the concept of big government, advocating a reduction in the size and budget of the federal government. During his terms in office, he faced a divided government split between Republican and Democratic control. Reagan also served two terms as governor of [[California]] from 1967–1975. He is often referred to as "The Great Communicator".
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If it was built after [[Newt Gingrich|1994]], it's probably named after him. The only person who has more things named after him is [[Oscar Wilde]]
  
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In one of his most famous challenges to Soviet communism in Europe, Reagan gave a speech in front of the Brandenburg Gate in West Berlin in which he said, "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall." However, some critics noted that Gorbachev, as the leader of the Soviet Union, did not technically have the final say in the status of the Berlin Wall, since it was located entirely on the territory of the German Democratic Republic (East Germany), and thus at the discretion of East German party leader Erich Honecker, who occasionally made a show of resisting Gorbachev's exhortations for reform.  Others have noted that the 30,000 Soviet troops stationed in East Germany and their control of all munitions, was all the leverage Gorbachev needed, if he was truly wanting meaningful reforms.
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== Ronald Reagan's Program to Recreate WWIII ==
  
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Reagan's economic policies became known as "Reaganomics" based the idea tax cuts would spur savings and investment. In the 1980 Republican primary debates, George H.W. Bush, later Reagan's running mate and successor as president, criticized Reagan's "trickle-down" policies as "voodoo economics", a remark he later recanted, given the ensuing massive growth of the US GNP in the 1990's and early 2000's.
+
During his fourth term as U. S. president in 1993-1997, President Reagan and Vice President [[Albert Einstein]] created what became the most famous political manoeuvre or "Mindfuck" of the late 20th Century. Based on their experiences playing lawn furniture on [[Star Trek]], the "Dynamic Duo" conceived a scheme known as the "Tribble-down Theory." With advice from the self-proclaimed "Chocolate Kyke King of Pimps," [[Henry Kissinger]], this plan sought to save the U. S. from nuclear destruction through the use of tribbles, also known as dingleberries.  Kissinger, who invented both the Oh Henry candy bar and the Hershey's kiss, suggested they coat 23,000 tribbles with chocolate sauce and drop them on Moscow, capitol of the U.S.S.R. The Soviets would then believe that their enemy was not the U.S.A., but instead the candy company [[Mars]].
  
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==Early Life==
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The plan worked, and fooled the Soviets completely. After spending $5.37 trillion on anti-Martian ray guns (secretly sold to them by the U.S.A.), the [[Soviet Union]] went bankrupt. It's former leaders defected, and fled Moscow. They moved to Springfield, where they hid for 13 years in the hair of Marge Simpson. The former Soviet leaders struggled, barely made a living working for the Mattel toy company, where they created the [[Barbie doll]]. After they had saved enough money, they moved to Houston, [[Texas]], where they infiltrated NASA and replaced President [[Bill Clinton]] with a remotely controlled dummy known as [[George W. Bush]].
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Reagan was born and raised in Illinois and attended Eureka College, where he quickly developed a reputation as a "jack of all trades", excelling in the areas of athletics and theater. In his first year at Eureka, the president of the college tried to cut back the faculty. Reagan immediately helped organize a student strike. He became a radio sports announcer after graduation, and then a famous actor, leading the Screen Actors Guild. Ironically, Reagan was thus the only president to ever lead a [[labor union]], traditionally considered bastions of liberalism. (It should be noted that Reagan considered himself a liberal, and was a registered Democrat well into the 1950's. Reagan enlisted in the military during World War II, but his eyesight was not good enough for combat duty. He used his acting skills to make military training films and promote the sale of "War Bonds. <ref>http://www.cnn.com/2004/ALLPOLITICS/06/05/reagan.obit/index.html</ref>.
 
  
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==Governor of California==
+
== The Fight of His Life ==
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In 1966, he was elected the 33rd Governor of California. In 1970, he was re-elected.  But in 1974, he chose not to seek a third term. Achievements during his terms included:
+
[[Image:USS Ronald Reagan.jpg|thumb|In recognition of his victory at the Cold War Golf Tournament, Congress presented Ronald Reagan with his own ship-borne golf court, the USS Ronald Reagan.]]
 +
[[Image:GotReagan.jpg|thumb|A question he was never able to answer for himself.]]
  
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*Fighting the People's Park protests, and restoring order to California's chaotic University campuses.
+
In the early [[1990s]], Reagan fought a battle with [[Pope John Paul 2.0]] over who had really defeated Communism and whose [[assassination]] attempt had been scarier. Although this match was televised on VH1's ''Behind the Assholes'', the similar match being fought between [[Mikhail Gorbachev]] and [[Ronald McDonald]] only made the local news (such as the [[BBC]]).
  
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*Working well with the Democrats to forge consensus on a variety of issues.
+
As agreed, the duel took place at sunrise. The weapon the Pope had selected was an incurable degenerative illness, on the [[theory]] that [[God]]'s [[love]] would heal the more [[Catholic]] of the two elderly warriors. Reagan's weapon was [[Black People|Black America]], and a strong belief in "trickle down" killonomics. Little did [[Pope John Paul 2.0]] know that God and Reagan were like [[this]]. Both Reagan and the Pope were stricken with one of the most horrific degenerative illnesses in the known multiverse: chronic oxidation. No amount of WD-40 could stop the tragedy which would soon come to pass.
  
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*Opposing the Dos Rios Dam
+
Luckilly for [[Republicans]], Reagan's oxidation was mainly contained to his unused brain. Pope John Paul 2.0's oxidation, on the other hand, tragically destroyed over $2.3 million worth of papal head gear and 5 fully loaded Pope-Mobiles. [[Las Vegas|Vegas]] put the odds at 2347:1 on the Pope to win the fight buy a landslide, but ultimately no money was paid out. This was because while Reagan's camp ultimately claimed victory due to his quicker death, JP2's camp also claimed victory, because their [[man]] suffered longer.
  
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==Presidency==
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[[Liberals | Terrorists]] have claimed that Reagan actually suffered from a degenerative mental condition while still in office, but in fact he was only very sleepy and forgetful. Unfortunately, however, these bouts of forgetful sleepiness became more pronounced due to chronic iron oxide build-up within Reagan's neurons. All hope was lost when the only aliens in the galaxy with the cure to rust refused to aid Reagan in his darkest hour. They claim this was due to his 'un-capitalistic protectionism' of [[Earth]] demonstrated by the Star Wars program, and by his unwillingness to allow for [[Wal-Mart]] to open stores on the Blue Planet. The latter was rectified under the Clinton administration, and we now welcome our alien overlords and can 'Buy one for the Tipper.'
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In 1968, Reagan ran for president in the Republican primaries.  However, [[Richard Nixon]] easily beat him.  In 1976, he briefly challenged Gerald Ford for the Republican nomination, before withdrawing his name from consideration.  Reagan knew if he continued, he would take the nomination away from Ford, and forever be branded as a Party spoiler. This he did not want, so he signaled his wish to be removed from consideration, and gave a very effective speech at the convention in support of Ford.  Then, in 1980, he beat [[George H. W. Bush]] in the Republican primaries, and went on to oppose [[Jimmy Carter]] (incumbent) in the general election with G.H.W. Bush as his running mate.  A poor economy and the incumbents failing to deal with several international crisis's aided Reagan. As he put it, "I'm told I can't use the word depression. Well, I'll tell you the definition. A recession is when your neighbor loses his job; depression is when you lose your job. Recovery is when Jimmy Carter loses his."  In the general election, he received 50.75% of the popular vote and 90.9% of the electoral.
 
  
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Once in office, Reagan showed he was playing hardball. When the [[Federal Air Traffic Controllers]] struck illegally, Reagan gave them 48 hours before he fired all who hadn't gone back to work (11,359).
+
Most historians agree that if either of the two men had managed to escape severe [[God]] smiting, WWIII would have broken out between the [[Vatican City]] (pop. 324), and the [[USA]] (pop. 324,749,263). The USA's first strike [[nuclear]] capabilities and extensive air superiority would have been pitted squarely against 20 [[Swiss]] gaurdsman wearing girly clothes and carrying shiny spears. Most people who hate the Catholic church are really bummed that this didn't come to pass.
  
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In 1984, Reagan won 49 out of 50 states' electoral votes, and the largest public vote in almost 100 years, 58.77%.   During his second term, he helped end the [[Cold War]], with the help of [[Mikhail Gorbachev]], by recognizing the weakness of the Soviet economy, and simply spending them out of existence.
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A made for [[TV]] movie about the incident was released in 2005. Staring [[Matt Damon]] as Pope John Paul 2.0, and [[whore|Susan Summers]] as Ronald Reagan. The show is considered directly responsible for over 250,000 murders, rapes, and random acts of littering, as well as being the reason behind the existence of Darfur. The original prints have since been burned, although sections of the film are still available on the [[internet]]. [[Bob Dole]] declined to comment on his roll in the movie as Nancy Reagan's heroine addicted love child.
  
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==Presidential Legacy==
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Also, in 1994, Reagan and Bill Clinton got in a major fight with [[Mao Zedong]] who had given up his leadership of China and began working at Wolf Camera.
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Reagan's 1983 Strategic Defense Initiative became popularly known as "Star Wars," the name given to it by critics because they thought it was pure fantasy like the popular George Lucas films. This plan was never actually instituted. Although billions of dollars have been spent on development, no space-based missile defense system has ever been tested successfully. While supporters of Reagan claim SDI gave the United States a large amount of leverage in its standoff with the [[Soviet Union]], most political scientists and historians note that Star Wars played a fairly minor role in the calculus of Soviet policy-making, where internal structural problems were paramount.
 
  
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===Debt===
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== Death ==
  
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Reagan was not the first President to increase the national debt -- in fact, the nation's first debts were incurred during the Revolutionary War. Nor did his Presidency see the largest increases -- while the debt increased by 160% during his two terms in office, it increased as a greater rate during World War II. However, the recent history of the national debt is intimately tied to Reagan. Fueled by tax cuts and a large defense build-up, the debt grew to record-setting levels during his tenure, and his administration saw the beginning of the current, relaxed attitude towards large deficits, offset by large cuts in Federal Government spending. By the end of Reagan's second term, the national debt had reached $2.6 trillion, or 53% of GNP, its highest level since WWII.
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Reagan never died, He continued his rampage against Communism in a Giant Bio-Mechanical Suit and dubbed himself MECHA REAGAN.
 +
[[Image:Mecha_Reagan2.png|right|thumb|200px|MECHA REAGAN in his natural Commie-exploding habitat.]]
  
 +
==Reagan Sports==
  
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===Iran-Contra===
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?!?![[Image:Gravedancing1a.jpg|left|thumb|133px|A young man participates in the Reagan Grave Dancing Championship (RGDC)]]
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The Iran-Contra Affair was the largest political scandal in the United States during the 1980s, considered by some to be one of the largest political scandals in history.[1] Large volumes of documents relating to the scandal were destroyed or withheld from investigators by Reagan Administration officials.[2] The affair is still shrouded with secrecy and it is very hard to discover the facts. It involved several members of the Reagan Administration who in 1986 helped sell arms to Iran, an avowed enemy, and used the proceeds to fund the Contras, an anti-communist guerrilla organization in Nicaragua. [3]
 
  
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After the arms sales were revealed in November 1986, President Ronald Reagan appeared on national television and denied that they had occurred.[4] However, a week later, on November 13, he returned to the airwaves to affirm that weapons were indeed transferred to Iran. He denied that they were part of an exchange for hostages. [5] See [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iran_Contra_Affair]for complete citation and further information.
 
  
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==Miscellaneous Facts==
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[[Image:Ronald_mcraygunjumping.JPG|left|thumb|200px|Reagan on daily jog.]]
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*Reagan's 1994 announcement that he had Alzheimer's Disease brought large amounts of public attention to the disease.
 
  
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*Reagan was a lifeguard for seven years growing up, and was said to have saved 77 people <ref>http://edition.cnn.com/SPECIALS/2004/reagan/stories/bio.part.one/index.html</ref>.
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== [[pun | Memorable]] Reagan Quotes ==
  
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*The Ronald Reagan Presidential Library and Museum is located in Simi Valley, California <ref>http://www.reaganfoundation.org/visitorguide/hours_directions.asp</ref>.
+
*When you leave a bicycle pump outdoors overnight...uuuuuuuh...next question.
 +
*RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANA PHONE!
 +
*Mr.Gorceachev, tear down this wall! Reagan SMASH! Reagan SMASH!
 +
*Reagan.....sleepy.....Reagan....sleepy.
 +
*We must destroy the evil empire. But that was another time, another... uh.... WHERE'S MY FREE FOOD*Well...
 +
*Where am I?
 +
*Wo ba you pussy!
 +
*Wo ma you jiji!
 +
*What?
 +
*I don't recall.
 +
*I remembered [[something]]!
 +
*Or maybe I didn't...
 +
*What?
 +
*I love Jesus Flakes!
 +
*Those Islams cannot be trusted! That crazy Muhummad!
 +
*Careful Nancy, those A-rabs arn't clean!
 +
*Pardon?
 +
*My wife is a she-male
 +
*Well...
 +
*Who?
 +
*Mmm, [[Jelly|Jelly Belly]].
 +
*MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
 +
*Yes?
 +
*What?
 +
*Careful Nancy, there are communists everywhere!
 +
*PSHEW! PSHEW! Look Nancy! An alien! Gwak.
 +
*All around the mulberry bush the commie chased the weasel. Then I pulled out a ten megaton nuke and I outlawed Russia forever! Spring break baby! Nancy, get in here and show me your titties!"
 +
*You homo!
 +
*Power! Unlimited Power!
 +
*What would Francisco Franco do?
 +
*Ronald Reagan doesn't eat [[Dogfood]] on Tuesdays!
 +
*Why'd I marry Nancy? She was the only woman I knew that could shoot Jelly Beans from her vagina.
 +
*Uh-Oh Spagetti-O's
 +
*The Internet is a series of tubes.
 +
*Huh?
 +
*Uuuuuuuuuuh...
  
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*Reagan is also the only president ever to have starred in a film co-starring a chimpanzee, "Bedtime for Bonzo" (1951).
+
== See Also ==
 +
* [[Reaganomics]]
 +
* [[Nancy Reagan]]
 +
* [[Ronnie Rokta]]
 +
* [[Cabinet minions]]
 +
* [[Supply-side Jesus]]
 +
* [[Laser-Faire Economics]]
 +
* [[Franco-American War]]
 +
* [[Spongebob Squarepants]]
 +
* [[Ronald McDonald]]
 +
* [[Ronald Raygun]]
 +
* [[The Dead Kennedys|Jello Biafra]]
  
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*Reagan was the first president to break the "[[Curse of Tippecanoe]]"
+
{{start box}}
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{{succession box | before = [[Jimmy Carter]] | title = [[President of the United States]] | years= 1981-1989 AD| after= [[George H.W. Bush]]}}
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*At 69, Reagan was the oldest man elected to the presidency.
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{{end box}}
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{{USpresident}}
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*Reagan loved jelly beans <ref>http://www.jellybelly-uk.com/pages/q&a/trivia.shtml</ref>.  The blueberry flavor was made in his honor.  [[Jelly Belly]] even created a [http://www.jellybelly-uk.com/pages/q&a/bean_art_gallery.shtml Ronald Reagan portrait out of jelly beans].
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[[Category:Politicians|Reagan]]
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[[Category:Dictators]]
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==References==
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[[ru:Рейган, Рональд Макдональд]]
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<references/>
 
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==External Links==
 
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*[http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,1101040614-646317,00.html Time Magazine Article on ''The All-American President'']
 
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*[http://www.whitehouse.gov/history/presidents/rr40.html White House Official Page]
 
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*[http://www.reagan.utexas.edu/ Reagan's Presidential Library]
 
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*[http://imdb.com/name/nm0001654/ Actor Bio At IMDB]
 
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*[http://www.ronaldreaganmemorial.com/ Official Memorial]
 
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[[Category:Presidents of the United States]]
 

Revision as of 17:07, March 14, 2007

|+ Ronald Reagan Memorial Datatable ! Buildings and Structures!! Roads and Highways !! Others |- | Ronald Reagan Presidential Library | Ronald Reagan Expressway || USS Ronald Reagan |- | Ronald Reagan Federal Courthouse |Ronald Reagan Turnpike ||Planet Ronald Reagan |- | Ronald Reagan High School |Ronald Reagan Memorial Highway ||Ronald Reagan Memorial Governorship of California |- | Ronald Reagan Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man Emporium |Ronald Reagan Avenue ||Ronald Reagan Island |- | Ronald Reagan Adult Outlet |Ronald Reagan Tunnel|| |- | Ronald Reagan Airport |Ronald Reagan Bridge|| |- | Ronald Reagan Memorial House of Representatives |Ronald Reagan Street||Ronald Reagan Harbour and Ronald Reagan Shipyard, Pago Pago (or just "Pago"), American Samoa |}

If it was built after 1994, it's probably named after him. The only person who has more things named after him is Oscar Wilde

Ronald Reagan's Program to Recreate WWIII

During his fourth term as U. S. president in 1993-1997, President Reagan and Vice President Albert Einstein created what became the most famous political manoeuvre or "Mindfuck" of the late 20th Century. Based on their experiences playing lawn furniture on Star Trek, the "Dynamic Duo" conceived a scheme known as the "Tribble-down Theory." With advice from the self-proclaimed "Chocolate Kyke King of Pimps," Henry Kissinger, this plan sought to save the U. S. from nuclear destruction through the use of tribbles, also known as dingleberries. Kissinger, who invented both the Oh Henry candy bar and the Hershey's kiss, suggested they coat 23,000 tribbles with chocolate sauce and drop them on Moscow, capitol of the U.S.S.R. The Soviets would then believe that their enemy was not the U.S.A., but instead the candy company Mars.

The plan worked, and fooled the Soviets completely. After spending $5.37 trillion on anti-Martian ray guns (secretly sold to them by the U.S.A.), the Soviet Union went bankrupt. It's former leaders defected, and fled Moscow. They moved to Springfield, where they hid for 13 years in the hair of Marge Simpson. The former Soviet leaders struggled, barely made a living working for the Mattel toy company, where they created the Barbie doll. After they had saved enough money, they moved to Houston, Texas, where they infiltrated NASA and replaced President Bill Clinton with a remotely controlled dummy known as George W. Bush.

The Fight of His Life

File:USS Ronald Reagan.jpg
In recognition of his victory at the Cold War Golf Tournament, Congress presented Ronald Reagan with his own ship-borne golf court, the USS Ronald Reagan.
File:GotReagan.jpg
A question he was never able to answer for himself.

In the early 1990s, Reagan fought a battle with Pope John Paul 2.0 over who had really defeated Communism and whose assassination attempt had been scarier. Although this match was televised on VH1's Behind the Assholes, the similar match being fought between Mikhail Gorbachev and Ronald McDonald only made the local news (such as the BBC).

As agreed, the duel took place at sunrise. The weapon the Pope had selected was an incurable degenerative illness, on the theory that God's love would heal the more Catholic of the two elderly warriors. Reagan's weapon was Black America, and a strong belief in "trickle down" killonomics. Little did Pope John Paul 2.0 know that God and Reagan were like this. Both Reagan and the Pope were stricken with one of the most horrific degenerative illnesses in the known multiverse: chronic oxidation. No amount of WD-40 could stop the tragedy which would soon come to pass.

Luckilly for Republicans, Reagan's oxidation was mainly contained to his unused brain. Pope John Paul 2.0's oxidation, on the other hand, tragically destroyed over $2.3 million worth of papal head gear and 5 fully loaded Pope-Mobiles. Vegas put the odds at 2347:1 on the Pope to win the fight buy a landslide, but ultimately no money was paid out. This was because while Reagan's camp ultimately claimed victory due to his quicker death, JP2's camp also claimed victory, because their man suffered longer.

Terrorists have claimed that Reagan actually suffered from a degenerative mental condition while still in office, but in fact he was only very sleepy and forgetful. Unfortunately, however, these bouts of forgetful sleepiness became more pronounced due to chronic iron oxide build-up within Reagan's neurons. All hope was lost when the only aliens in the galaxy with the cure to rust refused to aid Reagan in his darkest hour. They claim this was due to his 'un-capitalistic protectionism' of Earth demonstrated by the Star Wars program, and by his unwillingness to allow for Wal-Mart to open stores on the Blue Planet. The latter was rectified under the Clinton administration, and we now welcome our alien overlords and can 'Buy one for the Tipper.'

Most historians agree that if either of the two men had managed to escape severe God smiting, WWIII would have broken out between the Vatican City (pop. 324), and the USA (pop. 324,749,263). The USA's first strike nuclear capabilities and extensive air superiority would have been pitted squarely against 20 Swiss gaurdsman wearing girly clothes and carrying shiny spears. Most people who hate the Catholic church are really bummed that this didn't come to pass.

A made for TV movie about the incident was released in 2005. Staring Matt Damon as Pope John Paul 2.0, and Susan Summers as Ronald Reagan. The show is considered directly responsible for over 250,000 murders, rapes, and random acts of littering, as well as being the reason behind the existence of Darfur. The original prints have since been burned, although sections of the film are still available on the internet. Bob Dole declined to comment on his roll in the movie as Nancy Reagan's heroine addicted love child.

Also, in 1994, Reagan and Bill Clinton got in a major fight with Mao Zedong who had given up his leadership of China and began working at Wolf Camera.

Death

Reagan never died, He continued his rampage against Communism in a Giant Bio-Mechanical Suit and dubbed himself MECHA REAGAN.

File:Mecha Reagan2.png
MECHA REAGAN in his natural Commie-exploding habitat.

Reagan Sports

?!?!

File:Gravedancing1a.jpg
A young man participates in the Reagan Grave Dancing Championship (RGDC)


File:Ronald mcraygunjumping.JPG
Reagan on daily jog.

Memorable Reagan Quotes

  • When you leave a bicycle pump outdoors overnight...uuuuuuuh...next question.
  • RING RING RING RING RING RING BANANA PHONE!
  • Mr.Gorceachev, tear down this wall! Reagan SMASH! Reagan SMASH!
  • Reagan.....sleepy.....Reagan....sleepy.
  • We must destroy the evil empire. But that was another time, another... uh.... WHERE'S MY FREE FOOD*Well...
  • Where am I?
  • Wo ba you pussy!
  • Wo ma you jiji!
  • What?
  • I don't recall.
  • I remembered something!
  • Or maybe I didn't...
  • What?
  • I love Jesus Flakes!
  • Those Islams cannot be trusted! That crazy Muhummad!
  • Careful Nancy, those A-rabs arn't clean!
  • Pardon?
  • My wife is a she-male
  • Well...
  • Who?
  • Mmm, Jelly Belly.
  • MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM...
  • Yes?
  • What?
  • Careful Nancy, there are communists everywhere!
  • PSHEW! PSHEW! Look Nancy! An alien! Gwak.
  • All around the mulberry bush the commie chased the weasel. Then I pulled out a ten megaton nuke and I outlawed Russia forever! Spring break baby! Nancy, get in here and show me your titties!"
  • You homo!
  • Power! Unlimited Power!
  • What would Francisco Franco do?
  • Ronald Reagan doesn't eat Dogfood on Tuesdays!
  • Why'd I marry Nancy? She was the only woman I knew that could shoot Jelly Beans from her vagina.
  • Uh-Oh Spagetti-O's
  • The Internet is a series of tubes.
  • Huh?
  • Uuuuuuuuuuh...

See Also

Template:Start box Template:Succession box Template:End box Template:USpresident ru:Рейган, Рональд Макдональд

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