Demisexuality
Demisexuality is a lack of sexual attraction for those with whom one does not feel a strong emotional connection. It could be a deterrent to sexual promiscuity by making a person feel reluctant to have sex with many different partners, since a strong emotional connection tends only to develop for comparatively few people, compared to the range of people non-demisexuals might find sexually attractive based on physical appearance alone.
However, this does nothing to deter sexual self-stimulation. It is immaterial whether one has lustful thoughts for a person with whom one feels a strong emotional connection or whether one has lustful thoughts for a wide range of people, if the result is still that one harbors lustful thoughts for one to whom one is not married. Either way, adultery has been committed in the heart.
Demisexuality could, however, help one to remain faithful toward one's spouse in one's thoughts, if one's spouse is the one to whom one has a strong emotional connection and a physical attraction, and there are not others to whom one feels that same way about, who become the object of one's sexual fascination. Demisexuality could also be counterproductive to marital faithfulness and to enthusiastically fulfilling the sexual obligation of 1 Corinthians 7:5, if one lacks a strong emotional connection to one's spouse and therefore lacks a physical attraction for him.
Women
Stereotypically, women are more likely than men to have demisexual tendencies and to therefore require that sex only occur within a committed relationship. However, this could be for other reasons besides demisexuality, such as a conscious desire to avoid getting pregnant by a person to whom one is not attached by marriage, or concerns about sexually transmitted diseases, which are more easily passed from women to men than vice versa. Such concerns, which lead to seemingly demisexual behavior, do not necessarily preclude women's having fantasies that they would, due to various qualms about practicalities, not wish to fulfill.
Although such thoughts, not acted upon, may be less obvious to others than those that are acted upon, are therefore attract less censure from others, God is still concerned with one's thoughts, as noted in Matthew 5:28, 2 Corinthians 10:3-6, Psalm 139, and so on. It is not only the acts of the wicked but their thoughts that are an abomination to God.[1] It is the Lord's desire that not only immoral carnal behavior be restrained, but that imaginations and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God be cast down as well and that all thoughts be brought into captivity to the obedience of Christ. God will provide a means of overcoming temptation.[2] One can, for instance, distract oneself by thinking on those things that are true, honest, just, pure, lovely, and of good report.[3]
Many cultures have an expectation that men show less emotion than women, and not reveal how much their sexuality is motivated by emotional attachment. Conversely, there is more social disapproval of women's expressing sexual desires that are not accompanied by emotional attachment. Therefore, it is questionable whether women actually are more likely to be demisexual or if the perception is merely the result of conformity to social expectations. Either way, the Bible's instructions are clear: the proper behavior is to flee fornication[4] and to marry if one cannot otherwise restrain oneself from sexual immorality.[5]
