Conservative jokes
Welcome to the Conservative Jokes page. Here is a collection of various jokes, many the original work of Conservapedia editors.[1] Conservapedia editors are encouraged to add their own humor to this page.
Conservative Jokes
How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark.
What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song?
- "(You're) Having my Baby."
How can we stop global warming?
- Leaving our refrigerators open.
What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack?
- Isaac Fig Newton
Did you hear about the new Obama diet?[2]
- You let Putin eat your lunch all day.
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
- A whine cellar.[2]
Today, it was so cold, I saw a liberal with their hands in their own pockets.
I hope global warming is real. Those snowflakes will melt in the politically incorrect heat!
Conservative Riddles and Puzzles
What liquid is worth 0.4 cents a gallon to a conservative, but $1.22 per gallon to a liberal?
- Water, whether tap or bottled
References
Use these to add notes and references.
- ↑ Other works must be attributed to their respective authors.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". Independent Journal Review. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/