Difference between revisions of "Conservative jokes"
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:Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark. | :Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark. | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song? | What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song? | ||
:"(You're) Having my Baby." | :"(You're) Having my Baby." | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
How can we stop global warming? | How can we stop global warming? | ||
:Leaving our refrigerators open. | :Leaving our refrigerators open. | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack? | What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack? | ||
:Isaac Fig Newton | :Isaac Fig Newton | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
Did you hear about the new Obama diet?<ref name="ijr">Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". ''Independent Journal Review''. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/</ref> | Did you hear about the new Obama diet?<ref name="ijr">Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". ''Independent Journal Review''. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/</ref> | ||
:You let Putin eat your lunch all day. | :You let Putin eat your lunch all day. | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
What do you call a basement full of liberals? | What do you call a basement full of liberals? | ||
:A whine cellar.<ref name="ijr" /> | :A whine cellar.<ref name="ijr" /> | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
Today, it was so cold, I saw a liberal with their hands in their own pockets. | Today, it was so cold, I saw a liberal with their hands in their own pockets. | ||
| − | + | ---- | |
I hope [[global warming]] is real. Those [[Liberal|snowflakes]] will melt in the politically incorrect heat! | I hope [[global warming]] is real. Those [[Liberal|snowflakes]] will melt in the politically incorrect heat! | ||
Revision as of 01:36, April 8, 2017
Welcome to the Conservative Jokes page. Here is a collection of various jokes, many the original work of Conservapedia editors.[1] Conservapedia editors are encouraged to add their own humor to this page.
Conservative Jokes
How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
- Zero, they prefer to remain in the dark.
What is an abortion surgeon's least favorite song?
- "(You're) Having my Baby."
How can we stop global warming?
- Leaving our refrigerators open.
What God-inspired physicist can be eaten as a snack?
- Isaac Fig Newton
Did you hear about the new Obama diet?[2]
- You let Putin eat your lunch all day.
What do you call a basement full of liberals?
- A whine cellar.[2]
Today, it was so cold, I saw a liberal with their hands in their own pockets.
I hope global warming is real. Those snowflakes will melt in the politically incorrect heat!
Conservative Riddles and Puzzles
What liquid is worth 0.4 cents a gallon to a conservative, but $1.22 per gallon to a liberal?
- Water, whether tap or bottled
References
Use these to add notes and references.
- ↑ Other works must be attributed to their respective authors.
- ↑ 2.0 2.1 Hulsey, Emily. "21 Jokes That Only Conservatives Will Find Funny". Independent Journal Review. http://ijr.com/2014/05/139652-21-jokes-conservatives-will-find-funny/