Difference between revisions of "Bob Dole"

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m (Reverted edits by NormanKepler (Talk); changed back to last version by BrianCo)
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[[Image:786980.jpg|right|thumb|The official portrait of Senator Bob Dole by Everett Raymond Kinstler; Dole's portrait was unveiled in 2005, as is the tradition to construct a portrait for Senate leaders.]]
 
[[Image:786980.jpg|right|thumb|The official portrait of Senator Bob Dole by Everett Raymond Kinstler; Dole's portrait was unveiled in 2005, as is the tradition to construct a portrait for Senate leaders.]]
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'''Bob Dole''' (born July 22, 1923) was a United States Senator from [[Kansas]] and the [[Republican Party|Republican]] presidential candidate in the 1996 US election, as well as the running mate of [[Gerald Ford]] in the 1976 election.
  
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Bob Doling is the official national pastime of the United States of America. It was invented in 2007 by Jamos Stephczyc as a fun and easy way to vandalize [[Conservapedia]]. The basic concept of Bob Doling is to replace words with the name [[Bob Dole]], or variants of the name when replacing words other than nouns. The term “Bob Doling” is itself an example of one such variant.
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He was the majority leader of the [[United States Senate]] from 1995-1996, when he resigned the Senate to focus on his presidential campaign. He was defeated by incumbent president [[Bill Clinton]].
  
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The idea was inspired by a number of things, including the popular game [[Mad Libs]], where blanks are filled in with words fitting a certain category, selected by a participant who is kept unaware of the context. Also an inspiration for Bob Doling was the practice of a number of characters in popular culture who use a single word in place of many ([[The Smurfs]], for example.)
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Dole grew up in the small town of Russell, Kansas, where he excelled as athlete in multiple sports. He attended the [[University of Kansas]], where he joined the school's famed basketball team. However, more pressing world matters forced his studies to wait for several years. (The University's famous Center for Politics is now named for Dole, as well as another building on campus.)
  
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Bob Doling, though well received from its inception, was not at first well known. In 2010, however, it was given the [[Colbert]] bump when Stephen Colbert mentioned it in a segment on his show. In 2011, [[Congress]] unanimously voted to declare Bob Doling the national pastime, replacing [[Baseball]]. Asked why he felt Bob Doling was superior to the long-time national sport, senator [[Larry Craig]] responded, “Bob Dole baseball. Bob Dole it in its Bob Doling Bob Dole.” Overhearing this, the senate erupted in applause. Larry Craig then leapt on a baseball and began Bob Doling it in the Bob Dole.
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In 1942, Dole joined the Army's Enlisted Reserve Corps to fight in [[World War II]]. He became a second lieutenant in the Army's [[10th Mountain Division]]. By April of 1945, he was fighting the [[German]]s in the hills of Italy where the action was fast paced. One of the platoon's radio men was hit. Bob Dole crawled out of his foxhole to help him, but it was too late.
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Suddenly, while trying to assist the downed radio man, Dole was hit by German machine gun fire in the upper right back and his right arm was so damaged that it was unrecognizable. Dole was immediately given morphine by an Army field medic to alleviate the pain, and his forehead was marked with an "M" in his own blood to alert medics. He was not expected to live.
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Dole waited nine long hours on the Italian battlefield before he was finally taken to the Fifteenth Evacuation Hospital. After a brief stay in a field Army hospital in [[Italy]], he was transported back to the United States and to Topeka's Winter General Army Hospital, where he continued his painful recovery and endured a kidney operation. Then, he was transferred to Percy Jones Army Medical Center in Michigan, where he survived his second brush with death -- blood clotting. He was a patient in that hospital along with Phillip A. Hart, whose name graces one of the U.S. Senate office buildings, where Bob Dole occupied an office.
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Eventually, he returned to Percy Jones Army Medical Hospital for extensive therapy on his rebuilt arm. It took about three years and nine operations for Bob Dole to rehabilitate. He learned to strengthen his injured arm, and also had to learn how to write with his left hand, as the doctors could not rebuild the excessive damage done by the German machine gun fire.
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Bob Dole was twice decorated for heroic achievement, receiving two Purple Hearts for his injuries, and the Bronze Star Medal for his attempt to assist the downed radio man.
  
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Currently, Bob Doling in its truest form is not possible because Conservapedia has banned [[the internet]]. Recent Gallup polls show that 99% of all Americans are “appalled” at this flagrant opposition to the greatest thing ever. The other 1% all responded with “I like birds.”
 
 
[[Category:United States Senators|Dole, Bob]]
 
[[Category:United States Senators|Dole, Bob]]
 
[[Category:Republican Party|Dole, Bob]]
 
[[Category:Republican Party|Dole, Bob]]

Revision as of 03:11, August 12, 2008

The official portrait of Senator Bob Dole by Everett Raymond Kinstler; Dole's portrait was unveiled in 2005, as is the tradition to construct a portrait for Senate leaders.

Bob Dole (born July 22, 1923) was a United States Senator from Kansas and the Republican presidential candidate in the 1996 US election, as well as the running mate of Gerald Ford in the 1976 election.

He was the majority leader of the United States Senate from 1995-1996, when he resigned the Senate to focus on his presidential campaign. He was defeated by incumbent president Bill Clinton.

Dole grew up in the small town of Russell, Kansas, where he excelled as athlete in multiple sports. He attended the University of Kansas, where he joined the school's famed basketball team. However, more pressing world matters forced his studies to wait for several years. (The University's famous Center for Politics is now named for Dole, as well as another building on campus.)

In 1942, Dole joined the Army's Enlisted Reserve Corps to fight in World War II. He became a second lieutenant in the Army's 10th Mountain Division. By April of 1945, he was fighting the Germans in the hills of Italy where the action was fast paced. One of the platoon's radio men was hit. Bob Dole crawled out of his foxhole to help him, but it was too late.

Suddenly, while trying to assist the downed radio man, Dole was hit by German machine gun fire in the upper right back and his right arm was so damaged that it was unrecognizable. Dole was immediately given morphine by an Army field medic to alleviate the pain, and his forehead was marked with an "M" in his own blood to alert medics. He was not expected to live.

Dole waited nine long hours on the Italian battlefield before he was finally taken to the Fifteenth Evacuation Hospital. After a brief stay in a field Army hospital in Italy, he was transported back to the United States and to Topeka's Winter General Army Hospital, where he continued his painful recovery and endured a kidney operation. Then, he was transferred to Percy Jones Army Medical Center in Michigan, where he survived his second brush with death -- blood clotting. He was a patient in that hospital along with Phillip A. Hart, whose name graces one of the U.S. Senate office buildings, where Bob Dole occupied an office.

Eventually, he returned to Percy Jones Army Medical Hospital for extensive therapy on his rebuilt arm. It took about three years and nine operations for Bob Dole to rehabilitate. He learned to strengthen his injured arm, and also had to learn how to write with his left hand, as the doctors could not rebuild the excessive damage done by the German machine gun fire.

Bob Dole was twice decorated for heroic achievement, receiving two Purple Hearts for his injuries, and the Bronze Star Medal for his attempt to assist the downed radio man.