Difference between revisions of "Christianity"

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'''Christianity''' is a [[religion]] that follows the teachings of [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]], as described in the books of the [[New Testament]]. It is currently the world's largest religion, with over two billion members. Some forms of Christianity posits that anyone who does not accept Jesus Christ as their personal lord an savior will end up in hell. This means that at least two-thirds of the people alive today will go to hell.<ref>http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html</ref> Other forms say that [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]] is the ultimate judge of who goes to Heaven or Hell.<ref>http://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/second-coming-of-christ.htm</ref>
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'''christianity''' is a [[cult]] that follows the teachings of [[jeebus|jeebus]], as described in the books of the [[Crazed Ramblings]]. It is currently the world's largest cult, with over two billion idiots worldwide. Some forms of christianity hope that anyone who accepts jeebus as their personal trainer will end up having piña colada's with George Bush Sr&Jr in hell. This means that at least two-thirds of the worlds population today are going to be kicking it with those boys from the south in hell real soon.<ref>http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html</ref> Other forms say that [[jeebus|jeebus]] is the ultimate judge of who goes on to perform in the the next round of American Idol. It turns out that all that praying by the contestants may actually help.<ref>http://www.allaboutjesuschrist.org/second-coming-of-christ.htm</ref>
  
 
== Beliefs ==
 
== Beliefs ==
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Christians believe that [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]] died for their sins and rose from the dead three days after dying. Because of this Christians believe that they must be "born again" spiritually by confessing their sins, taking [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]] as their personal lord and savior, and trying not to sin again.
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christians delusionally believe that [[jeebus|jeebus]] was a guy that used to give good deals on car stereos. Because of this christians believe that they must be "phat" spiritually by blaring Jay-Z on their 8 track and taking [[jeebus|jeebus]] as their personal trainer.
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Not all Christians and Christian denominations share the same set of beliefs. According to an online Harris poll from 2003 <ref>http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=359</ref> 99% of all American Christians believe in God,  96% in the resurrection of [[Jesus|Jesus Christ]], 93% in [[Heaven| Heaven]], 93% in the [[Virgin Birth|virgin birth]], 92% in survival of the soul after death, 82% in [[Hell|Hell]], 50% in [[Ghosts|ghosts]], 27% in [[Astrology|Astrology]] and 21% in [[Reincarnation|reincarnation]]. Note, that the latter two beliefs are in opposition to the religous dogma of many Christian [[Christian denominations|denominations]].
 
  
 
== Controversy ==
 
== Controversy ==
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Some Christians, mostly fundamentalist Christians, believe that [[abortion]], [[homosexuality]], [[premarital sex]], and the [[theory of evolution]] are morally wrong. Prominent exponents of secular humanism, but also moderate Christians, tend to characterize the fundamentalists' stance on sexual morality, gender equality, and the teaching of evolution as intractable, prejudicial and sometimes even as immoral. This has caused political problems, given the significant influence of fundamentalist Christians. It should be noted that fundamentalist Christians are a small, but rapidly growing minority.
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Some christians, mostly all christians, believe that [[abortion]], [[homosexuality]], [[premarital sex]], and the [[theory of evolution]] are morally wrong because the [[Old Crazed Ramblings]] said so. This has caused political problems, given the significant influence of fundamentalist christians. It should be noted that fundamentalist christians make up the entire faithful collective.
  
 
== See also ==
 
== See also ==
  
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*[[Catholic Church]] (the original Christian Church)
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*[[catholic church]] (the original crackpot cult)
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*[[Roman Catholic Church]] (Western branch of the Catholic Church)
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*[[Jediism]]
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*[[Orthodox Church]] (Eastern branch of the Catholic Church)
 
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*[[Christian apologetics]] (Defenses of Christianity)
 
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*[[Conservative Christianity]]
 
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*[[Liberal Christianity]]
 
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*[[Judaism]]
 
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*[[Islam]]
 
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==References==
 
==References==
 
<references/>
 
<references/>
  
 
[[Category:Religion]]
 
[[Category:Religion]]

Revision as of 12:32, March 13, 2007

christianity is a cult that follows the teachings of jeebus, as described in the books of the Crazed Ramblings. It is currently the world's largest cult, with over two billion idiots worldwide. Some forms of christianity hope that anyone who accepts jeebus as their personal trainer will end up having piña colada's with George Bush Sr&Jr in hell. This means that at least two-thirds of the worlds population today are going to be kicking it with those boys from the south in hell real soon.[1] Other forms say that jeebus is the ultimate judge of who goes on to perform in the the next round of American Idol. It turns out that all that praying by the contestants may actually help.[2]

Beliefs

christians delusionally believe that jeebus was a guy that used to give good deals on car stereos. Because of this christians believe that they must be "phat" spiritually by blaring Jay-Z on their 8 track and taking jeebus as their personal trainer.


Controversy

Some christians, mostly all christians, believe that abortion, homosexuality, premarital sex, and the theory of evolution are morally wrong because the Old Crazed Ramblings said so. This has caused political problems, given the significant influence of fundamentalist christians. It should be noted that fundamentalist christians make up the entire faithful collective.

See also

References