Causes of divorce

Marriage is the divinely ordained covenant between a man and a woman.

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage.

Divorce is the legal dissolution of a marriage.

Personality disorders and divorce

See also: Personality disorders and divorce and Histrionic personality disorder and divorce and Paranoid personality disorder and divorce

Drama masks.

People with histrionic personality disorder often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention.

About 9% of the population has at least one personality disorder.

Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is a mental health condition marked by unstable emotions, a distorted self-image and an overwhelming desire to be noticed. People with HPD often behave dramatically or inappropriately to get attention.

Paranoid personality disorder (PPD) is a mental health condition marked by a pattern of distrust and suspicion of others without adequate reason to be suspicious. People with PPD are always on guard, believing that others are constantly trying to demean, harm or threaten them.

The abstract for the journal article Personality Disorder Symptoms Are Differentially Related to Divorce Frequency states:

"Divorce is associated with a multitude of outcomes related to health and well-being. Data from a representative community sample (N = 1,241) of St. Louis residents (ages 55–64) were used to examine associations between personality pathology and divorce in late midlife. Symptoms of the 10 DSM–IV personality disorders were assessed with the Structured Interview for DSM–IV Personality and the Multisource Assessment of Personality Pathology (both self and informant versions). Multiple regression analyses showed Paranoia and Histrionic personality disorder symptoms to be consistently and positively associated with number of divorces across all three sources of personality assessment. Conversely, Avoidant personality disorder symptoms were negatively associated with number of divorces. The present paper provides new information about the relationship between divorce and personality pathology at a developmental stage that is understudied in both domains."

According to Susan Krauss Whitbourne PhD, ABPP:

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By far, the strongest predictors of divorce likelihood were histrionic personality disorder symptoms... In its present-day iteration, the symptoms of histrionic personality disorder are in some ways very similar to narcissism to the point that some researchers believe the two to be virtually indistinguishable. However, people who would have a high histrionic symptom index would, in addition to being self-centered, be sexually seductive in an indiscriminate manner, overly theatrical, capable only of superficial feelings and relations with others, and unhappy when they are not the center of attention. Thus, it's the people with histrionic personality disorder who are most likely to qualify for the distinction "drama queen." Their additional quality of being overly impressionistic also adds to the mix, meaning that individuals with histrionic symptoms make decisions on the basis of limited evidence. In other words, they jump to conclusions, often basing their decisions on gut instincts rather than careful analysis.

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Narcissism and divorce

Narcissistic rage is an outburst of intense anger or silence that can happen to someone with narcissistic personality disorder.

See also: Narcissism and divorce

Narcissism is excessive love of oneself.

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) entails behaviors and attitudes that are designed to preserve a self-image of perfection, entitlement, and superiority.

According the Cleveland Clinic:

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Experts aren’t sure how common NPD is. According to research data, between 0.5% and 5% of people in the U.S. may have it. Between 50% and 75% of cases affect men and people assigned male at birth (AMAB). However, many people hide narcissistic beliefs or behaviors (informally known as “covert narcissism”). Because of that, it’s hard to estimate how many people truly have NPD.

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NPD often goes undiagnosed because many people with the condition are reluctant they have issues with narcissism because they think that their problems associated with the condition are all about everyone else and not about them Due to what they perceive as insults to self-esteem, it is often difficult for NPD patients to accept and follow through with treatment.

A codependent personality is someone who is people pleaser in an unhealthy way due to factors such as low self-worth, fear of rejection and fear of not being in a romantic relationship. The Psychcentral.com article The Give and Take Between Narcissistic and Codependent Personalities indicates: "There is often an attraction between individuals with codependent tendencies and those with narcissistic tendencies. This pair may connect for a variety of reasons, including the mutual need to feel needed. The codependent person tends to give continuously, while the narcissistic person tends to take. These two personalities have a lot in common, but their differences can make their relationship unhealthy or even toxic.

Narcissism and invididuals who have multiple divorces

See also: Narcissism and individuals who have had multiple divorces and Narcissistic personality disorder and Narcissistic rage and Narcissism

The abstract for journal article Personality characteristics of Divorce-Prone individuals: A preliminary clinical study published in the journal Contemporary Family Therapy indicates:

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This study focuses on Divorce-Prone individuals and the question of why some persons fail in one marriage after another. The authors studied 12 individuals who had each been divorced two or more times. They found that the cases fell into one of three broad and overlapping groups. The groups have been called the Self-Involved Narcissists, the Compliant Depressed, and the Casualties of Life's Vicissitudes. The individuals and the groups demonstrate a different etiology, different treatment problems, and a very different prognosis.

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According to the psychologist Holly Parker who teaches the course "The Psychology of Close Relationships" at Harvard University, "Research does suggest that people who marry multiple times are more likely (than people who do not marry multiple times) to have personality traits and issues with emotional health that make it difficult to maintain satisfying, long-term relationships. That can mean, even if you're not looking for anything lasting, you won't have much fun with a narcissist whose self-absorption and emotional detachment helped end several marriages."

Neuroticism and divorce

See also: Neuroticism

According to Medical News Today, "Neuroticism is a long-term tendency to be in a negative or anxious emotional state. It is not a medical condition but a personality trait. People often confuse this with neurosis." Neuroticism is one of the Big Five personality traits.

Neuroticism is a significant predictor of divorce proneness.

The article One personality trait makes people particularly lousy spouses notes:

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This insight comes care of Bruce Headey, a psychologist at Melbourne University in Australia. In a 2010 study, Headey and his team used data from the German Socio-Economic Panel study, which covered some 30,000 people living in 11,000 households from 1984 to 2009. In one part of their analysis, Headey and his colleagues looked at how the personality traits of married people affect life satisfaction. "The trait that matters most is neuroticism," the authors wrote. "A panel regression analysis ... indicates that individuals with relatively neurotic partners are significantly less happy than those with more emotionally stable partners."

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Research indicates that conservatives are less prone to neuroticism.

Lower conscientiousness and divorce

Big Five personality traits model

See also: Conscientiousness

Conscientiousness is the personality trait of being thorough, careful, consistent, vigilant and self-disciplined. Conscientiousness is positively correlated to a desire to perform a task well. Conscientious people are highly efficient and organized. They also exhibit: achievement oriented behavior; planning skills; organizational skills; and dependability.

Conscientiousness is one of the Big Five personality traits.

Individuals who divorce tend to have a lower degree of conscientiousness.

Individuals low in the personality trait of agreeableness are more prone to divorce

See also: Agreeableness

Agreeableness is a personality trait that describes a person’s ability to be empathetic and put others needs before their own. Those who score low in agreeableness are more likely to be hostile, indifferent, self-centered, spiteful, and jealous (Digman, 1990).

Agreeableness is one of the Big Five personality traits.

Individuals low in the personality trait of agreeableness are more prone to divorce.

Poor communication/interpersonal skills and divorce

In 2021, Sandra Aponte, MA, RMHCI wrote the article The 4 Communication Styles That Lead To Divorce With 90% Accuracy which indicated:

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The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse are considered metaphorical figures in the New Testament’s final book of Revelation. Written down by John of Patmos after receiving a vision from God, they detail pestilence, war, famine, and death — kicking off a divine countdown for the end of the world and the Last Judgement. Inspired by the ominous signs of this biblical vision, Dr. John Gottman describes his divorce-predicting research by the same name. More specifically, the communication styles that predicted the end of a relationship with 90% accuracy. His incredible research was completed with the assistance of 3,000 couples — who he followed and studied for over 20 years. As such, he was able to predict which couples would stay together, and which ones would end up divorcing within 6 years of the wedding. The four communication styles were: Criticism: when you attack or criticize the character of your partner Defensiveness: a response to criticism — it is when you come up with excuses and play the victim Contempt: when you make your partner feel worthless through disrespect and non-verbal cues Stonewalling: a response to contempt — it is when you shut down, stop responding to your partner and completely withdraw

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Alcoholism and divorce

Studies have shown that when one spouse has a drinking problem, the couple is much more likely to divorce.

See also: Divorce and alcoholism

According to the article The Link Between Alcoholism and Divorce:

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Regarding the correlation between alcoholism and divorce, the real issue seems to arise when only one spouse is the heavy drinker in the marriage. Studies have shown that when one spouse has a drinking problem, the couple is much more likely to divorce. For example, according to a study published in May 2014 in the Journal of Studies on Alcohol and Drugs, researchers from the University of Michigan found that nearly half of the more than 17,000 study participants with a history of alcoholism got a divorce at some point in their lives, while only 30% of the participants who were not affected by serious alcohol problems got a divorce. The consequences of periodic or ongoing excessive drinking can lead to the deterioration of the communication channels, as well as the intimate relationship between the couple. Specific manifestations of such deterioration may include arguments, serious financial problems, acts of infidelity and acts of violence.

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Natural family planning, contraception, cohabitation and divorce

The summary of conclusions for the abstract for the 2021 journal article Natural Family Planning and Marital Chastity: The Effects of Periodic Abstinence on Marital Relationships published in the journal The Linacre Quarterly indicates: "Summary: This study showed that ever-use of natural family planning (NFP) among ever-married women was associated with 58 percent lower odds of divorce than among women who never-used NFP. Ever-use of contraceptive methods was associated with two times the odds of divorce and four times for cohabitation compared to those women who never-used those methods. Use of periodic abstinence with NFP is the practice of marital chastity and is thought to strengthen the marital relationship."

Atheism and divorce

See also: Atheism and divorce

The atheist divorce rate is a steep 37%.

For more information, please see: Atheism, divorce, love and poor interpersonal skills

The atheist divorce rate is a steep 37%. Additionally, 51% of atheists are likely to cohabit and 31% of atheists never actually get married. Christian apologist Michael Caputo wrote: "Recently the Pew Forum on Religion and Public Life has published its mammoth study on Religion in America based on 35,000 interviews... According to the Pew Forum a whopping 37% of atheists never marry as opposed to 19% of the American population, 17% of Protestants and 17% of Catholics."

Scientific research has demonstrated that active churchgoers are "35% less likely to divorce than those who have no religious preferences".

According to the 2001 American Religious Identification Survey (ARIS) over 50% of all atheists and agnostics don't get married. See also: Atheism and marriage

The fertility rate is significantly lower in the atheist population (see: Atheism and fertility rates).

In relation to atheism and divorce, Theodore Beale wrote in his book The Irrational Atheist about atheist Daniel Dennett's arguments related to divorce:

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Dennett further claims that “brights” have better family values than born-again Christians based on “the lowest divorce rate in the United States” which depends on the flawed 1999 Barna study instead of the 2001 ARIS study he makes use of later in the book, a much larger study that reaches precisely the opposite conclusion. It is certainly a quixotic assertion, considering that these family value atheists are half as likely to get married, twice as likely to divorce, and have fewer children than any other group in the United States... Barna calculated divorces as a percentage of the entire group, not as a percentage of marriages within that group. Since according to ARIS 2001 more than half of all atheists and agnostics don’t get married, this is an apple-orange comparison. If one correctly excludes the never-married from the calculation, then atheists are 58.7 percent more likely to get divorced than Pentecostals and Baptists, the two born-again Christian groups with the highest rate of divorce, and more than twice as likely to get divorced than Christians in general.

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See also

• Psychological and sociological research about individuals with multiple divorces