Darryl L. Foster

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A Heavy Toll
"The lack of having a father around took a heavy toll on me; I developed a deep longing for a man to hold me in his arms and tell me he loved me. I struggled with feelings of rejection caused in part my father's unexplained absence. I had no confidence in my masculinity or in my abilities as a male among other males. I endured the rejection and ridicule of other boys my age, while at the same time developing unwanted emotional and physical attractions to them. I wasn't even aware of my tendecy to sexualize relationships with other males until I was about 11."
—Pastor Darryl L. Foster[1]

Darryl L. Foster, also known as Pastor DL Foster, is former practitioner of homosexual alias sodomical lifestyle. In 2010, he declared to celebrate 20 years being out of homosexuality by the grace of God. According to his testimony, God saved him April 12, 1990 and Foster now encourages others that God is able to deliver them and keep them set free.[2]

Childhood experiences

As he grew up, he struggled constantly with homosexual thoughts. Being left confused made him a magnet for manipulation so at the age of 13 an older boy sexually molested him. Over the next three years, DL Foster was forced to bear "Ray's" relentless obsession with him, although they never had sex. The feelings in his heart became a vortex of battling conflicts: "I hated his touch and I longed for his touch. I hated liking his attention and I hated not having his attention."[1]

"Gay" lifestyle

When he left home, DL Foster plunged headlong into the gay lifestyle. The sight of men dancing with each other and publicly kissing made him feel so good and he felt like finally being in a place where he belonged. In 1980, his first year of college, DL Foster dove headlong into homosexuality. He was new on the gay scene; soon everyone was asking who he was and who he was dating. He went to house parties, orgies, got hooked on "poppers" and started drinking: "I was like a kid in a candy store with no parents around!"

In 1982, he hid his homosexuality so he could join the Army. He traveled all over the world and everywhere he could always find another man to have sex with. He went through periods of deep depression, when he felt so lonely he wanted to die. When he came out of his depression, he had to have sex to make him feel powerful and secure. He developed a hard attitude toward others, even his lovers: "People existed to give me pleasure; when I was finished, I simply discarded them."

At the height of his life as a "gay" man he felt invincible. No one could stop him, not even God: "I don't care if I go to hell!" he told God when he felt convicted about his sexuality. But he was still unhappy and unfulfilled. Thoughts "You can find sex partners anytime you want, but none of them love you" tormented him to such degree that now he believes they came from satan and perceives them as an attempt to push him further along the path of self-destruction. After years of homosexual sex in all its devaluing forms, he still felt unloved and worthless.

He spent 11 years as identified "gay" man and it was something that he originally thought that literally would be so for the rest of his life. There were times when he loved what he thought he was, and there were times when he wanted to break free, this is what he describes now as love-hate relationship.

Deliverance

In April 1990, after he had come to sort of the end of the line of his role pop-up, an essence of what he thought he was, he found out Lord Jesus Christ. Christ was according to DL Foster not only able to transform his feelings and thoughts about sex and sexuality, but was able to transform his whole personality spiritually, emotionally, and relationally over the course of time. Consequently, DL Foster was moving away from the residual issues of anger, hatred, and improper sexual passions, although there were many issues to confront as he started down the road to total healing. The personal witness that Pastor DL Foster has now is that God said with Him all things are possible: What is impossibility with men, becomes a possibility and reality with God. DL Foster encourages people not to seek the church, but to seek Jesus Christ: "church is not a savior, Christ is". Thus, DL Foster does not recommend the church, but he recommends Jesus, becase "what He says, He is."[3]

Family life

Eventually, DL Foster met a young woman who had begun attending the same church and they became friends. His passions changed and he started to understand God had created him to love a woman, not a man. Before he proposed to Dee, he told her openly about his past. "Honey" she responded, "if God has forgiven you, so do I." They were married and began their life together, having later four children.

DL Foster maintains that God has greatly used his wife to work what he describes as "miracles" in his healing process. Further, he claims to be no longer the broken, hate-driven homosexual man he used to be and attributes this change to the grace and power of the Lord Jesus: "I live for and enjoy my life serving the Lord Jesus, raising my children, loving my wife and leading the congregation God has given me the favor to lead. These are the fruits of change. A promise that only be fulfilled in a life submitted to God."[1]

Publications

Touching A Dead Man: One man's explosive story of deliverance from homosexuality,[4] the book that is claimed to be a powerful and important resource for those struggling with homosexuality and that have launched thousand deliverances. It is recommended for those who are seriously interested in gaining insight about homosexual alias sodomical lifestyle and those ensnared in its web.

References

  1. 1.0 1.1 1.2 Pastor Darryl L. Foster. Telling our stories in first person...Living a Life of Change and Promise. Retrieved on 23 April 2016. “Years and years as a homosexual man had burned away all of my sensitivities. ...Yes, now I was free, but it hadn't always been that way. ... When I looked at myself as a young boy in the mirror, all I could see was a weak, timid boy full of fear, self-loathing and pain. I couldn't relate to other boys my age except in one way. And that was a deep dark secret I hoped no one would ever discover. ... Unfortunately, I didn't meet my father until I was seven years old. He gave my brother and me a few dollars and left again; I did not see him again for another six years. By this time, I was full of anger and hatred at his uncaring abandonment. ... This time, I refused his money; I hated him so much that I couldn't have cared if he had offered us a thousand dollars.”
  2. After 20 years out of homosexuality. Retrieved on 23 Apr 2016.
  3. Pastor DL Foster. Retrieved on 23 Apr 2016.
  4. Touching A Dead Man: One man's explosive story of deliverance from homosexuality. Retrieved on 23 Apr 2016.

See also