Conservapedia - User contributions [en]

Humor

2007-06-25T05:06:53Z

Tulippa:

Humor is difficult to define. Everyone finds differing things funny; no two people can agree on what makes something funny.

There are many kinds of humor. There are jokes, which can be further broken down by kind of joke (knock-knock, one-liner, etc.); physical humor (slapstick, spit-takes); puns, limericks, and Spoonerisms; irony; and others.

== Jokes ==

A joke can be elaborate or simple. The simplest jokes consist of the "setup", usually a question, followed by the answer or "punchline". The punchline may be a pun, or it may not bear too much relation to the setup. A perfect example of this is the following joke:

<blockquote>
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? 
A: To get to the other side! 
</blockquote>

This most likely does not strike you as funny (five-year-olds seem to respond best to this one), because the punchline does not seem to have too much to do with the setup. Consider, however, the progression of this joke:

<blockquote>
Q: Why did the hippopotomus cross the road? 
A: Because it was glued to the chicken! 
</blockquote>

You can continue in this vein until you're sick of the whole thing or your audience needs a nap, whichever comes first.

Also in the simple-joke category are knock-knock jokes. These usually consist of five lines and involve a [[Pun]]. An oldie but goodie goes like this:

<blockquote>
Person 1: Knock-knock. 
Person 2: Who's there? 
1: Annapolis. 
2: Annapolis who? 
1: Annapolis a fruit! 
</blockquote>

Then there is the infamous Banana Knock-Knock Joke:

<blockquote>
Person 1: Knock-knock. 
Person 2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Orange. 
2: Orange who? 
1: Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'? 
</blockquote>

It is recommended that you only tell this joke once or twice in your life (and never tell it to the same person twice, unless they have very very short memories.)

== Physical Humor ==

Physical humor is humor that stems from things happening to a person. The most common example of physical humor the nearly-ubiquitous Object Hitting Man In Crotch. Other common examples include but are not limited to Spilling Food Or Beverage On Person, Small Dog Clinging To Toy While Being Lifted Into The Air, and the classic Slipping On Stuff.

The U.S. cable television show 'Jackass' has elevated physical humor of the painful type into a successful show and two movies. For whatever reason, young men in the coveted 18-25 demographic find this to be the pinnacle of humor and often never grow out of it.

== Puns, Limericks, And Spoonerisms ==

Puns are plays on words, normally involving [[homonyms]] or similar-sounding phrases. "Annapolis a fruit!" is a perfect example of a pun.

A limerick is a short poem consisting of five lines of varying length. Generally speaking, the last line of the limerick should reprise the first part of the limerick. Most limericks are ribald in nature, but there are plenty of perfectly tame limericks.

An example:
<blockquote>
There once was a man from Nantucket 
Who kept all his cash in a bucket 
he had a daughter named Nan 
who ran off with a man 
and as for the bucket, Nan took it. 
</blockquote>

A Spoonerism is created by swapping the first letters of two words, named after Edwin Spooner who often switched letters by accident. (It is suspected that Spooner had a brain tumor.)

An example of a Spoonerism:

<blockquote>
A teacher, speaking to a student, says, "you've tasted two worms!" instead of 'you've wasted two terms!'.
</blockquote>

== Irony And Sarcasm ==

Irony is lost on most people, because they've only heard the Alanis Morissette song that equates irony with "rain on [your] wedding day" and "a black fly in [your] Chardonnay".

Irony is not this sort of occurrance. Irony is saying, "I hate hate HATE cats! I will never own a cat in my life!" and then finding a lost kitten shivering on your doorstep.

Sarcasm is a type of humor that depends heavily on tone of voice, though it's possible to use sarcasm in a text-based medium. It generally consists of making a statement that is not meant sincerely or not meant to reflect the actual views or attitudes of the person making the statement.

Sarcasm is exemplified by the following statement, made by someone who finds the Indy 500 more boring than watching paint dry:

<blockquote>
NASCAR is the pinnacle of sporting excellance.
</blockquote>

Humor

2007-06-25T05:00:36Z

Tulippa:

User talk:Tulippa

2007-06-25T04:49:01Z

Tulippa: /* Cryptography */

==Cryptography==

Dreyfus was later found innocent and his commision restored (and he was promoted). He was originally sent to Devil's Island because he was a Jew, not a spy.

Also, it was the British who captured the Enigma Engine. You shouldn't use Hollywood movies as a source. [[User:Maestro|Maestro]] 00:44, 25 June 2007 (EDT)

Why shouldn't I? Most people responsible for the foriegn policy of this country use the TV show 24 as a guide...

Humor

2007-06-25T04:44:08Z

Tulippa:

Humor is difficult to define. Everyone finds differing things funny; no two people can agree on what makes something funny.

There are many kinds of humor. There are jokes, which can be further broken down by kind of joke (knock-knock, one-liner, etc.); physical humor (slapstick, spit-takes); puns, limericks, and Spoonerisms; irony; and others.

== Jokes ==

A joke can be elaborate or simple. The simplest jokes consist of the "setup", usually a question, followed by the answer or "punchline". The punchline may be a pun, or it may not bear too much relation to the setup. A perfect example of this is the following joke:

<blockquote>
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get to the other side!
</blockquote>

This most likely does not strike you as funny (five-year-olds seem to respond best to this one), because the punchline does not seem to have too much to do with the setup. Consider, however, the progression of this joke:

<blockquote>
Q: Why did the hippopotomus cross the road? 
A: Because it was glued to the chicken! 
</blockquote>

You can continue in this vein until you're sick of the whole thing or your audience needs a nap, whichever comes first.

Also in the simple-joke category are knock-knock jokes. These usually consist of five lines and involve a [[Pun]]. An oldie but goodie goes like this:

<blockquote>
Person 1: Knock-knock. 
Person 2: Who's there? 
1: Annapolis. 
2: Annapolis who? 
1: Annapolis a fruit! 
</blockquote>

Then there is the infamous Banana Knock-Knock Joke:

<blockquote>
Person 1: Knock-knock. 
Person 2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Banana. 
2: Banana who? 
1: Knock-knock 
2: Who's there? 
1: Orange. 
2: Orange who? 
1: Orange you glad I didn't say 'banana'? 
</blockquote>

It is recommended that you only tell this joke once or twice in your life (and never tell it to the same person twice, unless they have very very short memories.)

== Physical Humor ==

Physical humor is humor that stems from things happening to a person. The most common example of physical humor the nearly-ubiquitous Object Hitting Man In Crotch. Other common examples include but are not limited to Spilling Food Or Beverage On Person, Small Dog Clinging To Toy While Being Lifted Into The Air, and the classic Slipping On Stuff.

The U.S. cable television show 'Jackass' has elevated physical humor of the painful type into a successful show and two movies. For whatever reason, young men in the coveted 18-25 demographic find this to be the pinnacle of humor and often never grow out of it.

== Puns, Limericks, And Spoonerisms ==

Puns are plays on words, normally involving [[homonyms]] or similar-sounding phrases. "Annapolis a fruit!" is a perfect example of a pun.

A limerick is a short poem consisting of five lines of varying length. Generally speaking, the last line of the limerick should reprise the first part of the limerick. Most limericks are ribald in nature, but there are plenty of perfectly tame limericks.

An example:
<blockquote>
There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
he had a daughter named Nan
who ran off with a man
and as for the bucket, Nan took it.
</blockquote>

A Spoonerism is created by swapping the first letters of two words, named after Edwin Spooner who often switched letters by accident. (It is suspected that Spooner had a brain tumor.)

Humor

2007-06-25T04:16:30Z

Tulippa:

Homonyms

2007-06-25T04:15:30Z

Tulippa: New page: Homonyms are words that sound alike but are spelled differently. It has nothing to do with sexuality. Common homonyms include: {| class="wikitable" |- ! ! Common Homonyms ! |- | They'...

Homonyms are words that sound alike but are spelled differently. It has nothing to do with sexuality.

Common homonyms include:

{| class="wikitable"
|-
!
! Common Homonyms
!
|-
| They're
| There
| Their
|-
| It's
| Its
|
|-
|Hear
|Here
|
|}

Humor

2007-06-25T03:41:27Z

Tulippa: New page: Humor is difficult to define. Everyone finds differing things funny; no two people can agree on what makes something funny. There are many kinds of humor. There are jokes, which can be f...

Pun

2007-06-25T03:37:40Z

Tulippa: New page: A pun is a form of humor, usually involving two words with similar sounds but differing meanings. Often considered a 'low' form of humor, only better than a dirty joke in that you can make...

A pun is a form of humor, usually involving two words with similar sounds but differing meanings. Often considered a 'low' form of humor, only better than a dirty joke in that you can make puns in front of your granny or your pastor without worrying about getting yelled at.

Puns are often found in cartoons.

Cryptography

2007-06-19T00:59:19Z

Tulippa: New page: Cryptography is the writing of secrets. The word 'cryptography' comes from the Greek 'cryptos', secret, and 'graphos', writing. == Examples Of Cryptography == Cryptography is probably a...

Cryptography is the writing of secrets. The word 'cryptography' comes from the Greek 'cryptos', secret, and 'graphos', writing.

== Examples Of Cryptography ==

Cryptography is probably as old as mankind (only about 6000 years). From the very beginnning of time, people have needed to keep secrets from one another. Generally, 'cryptography' refers to ''encoding'', which is the process of taking plain text (like this) and making it difficult (or impossible) to understand.

One of the oldest and easiest ''cyphers'' (a pair of keys used for encryption and decryption) is the substitution cypher. To use this cypher, simply write out the alphebet and then write the numbers from 1 to 26 under each letter, so that A = 1, B = 2, C = 3, etc. Thus, 'Conservapedia' becomes '3 15 14 19 5 22 1 16 5 4 9 1'. Another easy substitution cypher is to write out the alphabet from A to Z and then write the alphabet again underneath, this time from Z to A. In this cypher, A = Z, B = Y, C = X, and so on. Using this cypher, 'Conservapedia' becomes 'x l m h v i e z k v w r z'.

To make things a little more difficult for anyone that intercepts the message, one can string the numbers or letters together in one solid lump. For example, here we have the sentence 'The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog'. In a simple numerical substitution cypher (with slashes to separate words), it looks like this:

<blockquote>
20 8 5 / 17 21 9 3 11 / 2 17 15 24 14 / 6 15 24 / 10 21 13 16 19 / 15 22 5 18 / 20 8 5 / 12 1 26 25 / 4 15 7
</blockquote>

Now, if we remove the slashes and spaces, we get this:

<blockquote>
2085172193112171524146152410211316191522518208512126254157
</blockquote>

It still says the same thing, but it's far more difficult to decipher. To make it even more difficult to decipher, we can put spaces back into the string of numbers -- at random, like so:

<blockquote>
20851 721 931121 7152 4146 152 410211 31619 15 2251 820851 212 625 4157.
</blockquote>

This is a fairly strong cipher, provided that you're only working with a pencil and a piece of paper. With the advent of computers, this sort of encryption is little better than writing your message on a paper napkin and folding it in half.

Computer programs can easily break this cypher using "brute force". The encrypted information is input into the program, which is then set into motion. The program tries every combination of letters, dumping the results into a file. The file is then reviewed by the person that put the information into the program (this person is usually a criminal, known as a "hacker").

== Historical Uses Of Cryptography ==

Generally speaking, cryptography has been the sole domain of governments, which is as it should be. All governments of the world have a branch dedicated to the interception and decryption of encoded information. In America, this is the CIA; in Britain, it's MI5; in Vatican City it's Iscariot (Vatican Section XIII).

Cryptography has played a large part in many wars. In the first world war, Mata Hari was responsible for carrying messages back and forth for the German government, causing the deaths of thousands of French soldiers. In the second world war, Americans aboard the S-33 submarine captured the crew and The Enigma Engine of German U-boat U-571, leading to the decryption of Nazi communications and the end of the war.

Other examples of the importance of cryptography include The Dreyfus Affair, which involved the notorious spy Alfred Dreyfus, and of course the infamous Ethel and Julius Rosenberg.

Alfred Dreyfus was a French military officer who spied on the French military for the German government. He was convicted of treason and sentenced to prison on the famed Devil's Island.

Ethel and Julius Rosenberg sold US atomic secrets to the USSR at the height of the cold war. They were convicted and executed at Sing Sing prison.

As you can see, cryptography leads to nothing more than trials and death. It's not something that the average person should get involved with.

Computer

2007-06-18T23:35:16Z

Tulippa:

A computer is a machine that is designed to perform mathematical calculations. Computers manipulate data in the form of [[binary|binary code]], which consists of 1s and 0s.
[[Image:Babbage.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine.]]
The world's first computer was built by [[Charles Babbage]] in 1833, which he called the '''Analytical Engine'''. It was powered by steam and could perform basic arithmetic calculations with accuracy up to six decimal places. It also featured a 'bit bucket' in the back that collected discarded and malformed bits resulting from the calculations; this bucket had to be emptied on a weekly basis. Charles Babbage's wife [[Ada Augusta]], whom operated the Analytical Engine, is considered to be the world's first computer programmer.

==References==
http://www.msu.edu/course/lbs/126/lectures/history.html

[[Category:Information technology]]
[[Category:computer science]]

Computer

2007-06-18T23:30:19Z

Tulippa:

A computer is a machine that is designed to perform mathematical calculations. Computers manipulate data in the form of [[binary|binary code]], which consists of 1s and 0s.
[[Image:Babbage.jpg|right|thumb|200px|Charles Babbage's Analytical Engine.]]
The world's first computer was built by [[Charles Babbage]] in 1833, which he called the '''Analytical Engine'''. It was powered by steam and could perform basic arithmetic calculations with accuracy up to six decimal places. Charles Babbage's wife [[Ada Augusta]], whom operated the Analytical Engine, is considered to be the world's first computer programmer.

==References==
http://www.msu.edu/course/lbs/126/lectures/history.html

[[Category:Information technology]]
[[Category:computer science]]