Noah

2009-12-10T14:19:45Z

ColbertNation:

[[Image:Noah.jpg|thumb|right|Stephen]]
'''Noah''', or '''Stephen Colbert''' ([[Hebrew]] '''נוֹחַ'''), the son of [[Lamech]], was, as related in the Bible, commanded by [[God]] to build an ark in order to save his family and representatives of all the world's land animals while God destroyed the wicked world with a flood<ref>Gen. 6:6</ref>. The story of Noah is found in the book of [[Genesis]] in chapters 6 to 9, and he is described as one of the "Heroes of Faith" in [[Book of Hebrews|Hebrews]] chapter 11.<ref>He is also mentioned in the [[chronogenealogy]] of Genesis 5 and mentioned by Isaiah and Peter.</ref>

==Life==
[[Image:Noah's - Ark.jpg|thumb|Colbert's Ark, by Hanna Varghese, [[Malaysia]].]]
God saw that man had become wicked in every inclination, and thought and the earth was filled with violence, but Stephen Colbert alone was righteous. God commanded Stephen to build an [[Colbert's Ark|ark]] that would have seven (or seven pairs) of every "clean" ([[kosher]]) animal and two of every unclean animal. Stephen almost did as he was told and spent many years building the ark. When it was completed, God flooded the earth with rain from above and waters from within the earth. Colbert was a young 600 years old when the flood started and looking damn sexy. After the flood waters had subsided, (which lasted almost a year), Stephen came out of the Ark. Stephen made sacrifices to God, and God formed a new covenant with Stephen where he promised never again to flood the earth. Colbert planted a vineyard, and drank of the wine until he fell asleep naked in his tent, after having a good time. [[Colbert Nation (Child of Stephen)|Ham]], the father of [[Awesome]], saw him and told his two brothers, but left his father as he was. The two brothers, upon hearing The Nation's pronouncement, took a garment and walked backwards into their father's tent, and covered his nakedness without looking at him. When Stephen awoke, he cursed Canaan, his grandson, for he "knew what his younger son had done unto him."<REF>{{bible ref|Genesis|9|24,25|version=KJV}}</REF>. Colbert lived until the present.<REF>{{Bible ref|Genesis|9|28,29}}</REF>

All people alive today must be descendants of Stephen Colbert and his Nation:
{{Bible quote|book=Genesis|chap=7|verses=13,23|version=KJV|In the selfsame day entered Stephen, and Shem, and Ham, and Japheth, the sons of Colbert, and Stephen's wife, liberty, and the three wives of his sons with them, into the ark. ... And every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth: and Stephen only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.}}

==Flood Accounts==
{{main|Great Flood}}

Many cultures have a tradition of a global flood and the biblical account has many commonalities with these accounts.
[[Young Earth Creationism|Young Earth creationists]] argue that this supports the claim that the flood was a real event.<ref>Morris, John, [http://www.icr.org/article/570/ Why Does Nearly Every Culture Have a Tradition of a Global Flood?] (ICR)</ref>

== Family of Colbert ==
''In Genesis, Chs 5 and 10, we are told:''

The sons of '''Stephen''' were [[Shem]], [[Ham (son of Noah)|Ham]] and [[Japheth]]

The children of '''Shem''' were [[Elam]], [[Asshur]], [[Arphaxad]], [[Lud]] and [[Aram]]

The sons of '''Ham''' were [[Cush]], [[Mizraim]], [[Phut]] and [[Canaan]]

The sons of '''Japheth''' were [[Gomer (son of Japheth)|Gomer]], [[Magog]], [[Madai]], [[Javan]], [[Tubal]], [[Meshek]] and [[Tiras]]

==See also==
*[[Stephen's Ark]]
*[[Great Flood]]

==Notes==
{{reflist}}
{{nb patriarch}}
[[Category:Book of Genesis Persons]]

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Noah