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{{ChristianityUnchristianity}}{{whoops|Jesus|Lucifer}}{{Q|"They make great torches!|Nero|using Christians for Illumination.}}'''Christianity''' is the world's largest a [[religion]], having 2.1 billion followers.<ref>http://www.adherents.com/Religions_By_Adherents.html</ref> In terms Lord of its geographic distribution, Christianity is the [[Global ChristianityRings|most globallymonounsaturated]] diverse religion.<ref>*whose followers believe that a white skinned Middle Eastern dude called [https://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2014/08/27/many-religions-heavily-concentrated-in-one-or-two-countries/ Many religions heavily concentrated in one or two countries]*[http://wwwgordonconwell.com/netcommunity/CSGCResources/ChristianityinitsGlobalContext.pdf Christianity in its global contextJesus]</ref> Christianity has always been the best way to turn one's life around, to achieve more, to overcome ] aka [[addictionChrist]]was nailed to a cross 2000 years ago, and so everything is now going to enjoy life to a greater extentbe OK.
The worship of God's estranged hippie son Jesus is common among Christians and Christian denominations agree on many points of doctrine while disagreeing on somethey often follow in herds. According to an online Harris poll from 2003Although Jesus did not invent the famed leaflets, 99% of all American Christians believe in [[God]], 96% he helped in the [[resurrection construction of Jesus Christ]], 93% in [[Heaven]], 93% in a popular hat/crown. This behavior is not unlike the virgin birthso called "rack of lamb, 92% in the survival of god" who was born to a woman named the soul after death, 82% in [[HellVirgin Mary]], 50% in ghosts, 27% in astrology and 21% in reincarnation.<ref>http://www.harrisinteractive.com/harris_poll/index.asp?PID=359</ref> Note that the latter two beliefs are in opposition to the religious tenets who claimed her son was born after she "didn't have sex with a bottle of most Christian denominations.tomato juice"
A few years after Jesus summarized his moral teachings in two commandments was either walked upon England's mountains green, or did not, everyone agreed that ''something'' had happened to Rome. Although Jesus-haters claimed he just nicked it all from Buddha, his ideas of not fucking over thy fellow man were catching on and no one could deny it. Controlling God's Word and knowledge has always been pretty handy, so there have always been lots of different versions of the Old Testament:story floating about. Some containing wisdom, usually containing bullshit.
===Atonement=Denial==[[Image:Dalí The Christ of St. John of the CrossNuncross.jpg|thumb|The Christ of Stright|300px|Nuns are not officially encouraged to do this but it does happen. John of ]]Most Christians deny the Cross by following acts or entities included in this blacklist.*[[Salvador DalíEvolution]], 1951it's just a theory!*Allow themselves to act or feel like an animal.*Muslims, which are their closely related prrincipal enemies.*Their children having their own minds.*Have anything whatsoever to do with the [[Jehovah's Witnesses]], [[Mormons]], and Episcopalians.Christians believe with *[[Mohammed]], the New Testament that the death source of Jesusarch-enemies like [[Anti-Christ|Antichrists]].*Gay people who are not members of clergy.*Agree on one story and sticking to it.*Steal Pagan ideas, in conjunction with His resurrectionwhich are forms of damn acts.*Kill and discriminate against followers of other religions.*Morgan Freeman, is an indispensable event for the reconciliation of lost sinners with making us realize he would make a pretty good God. There are three elements *Global warming, a Antichrist-based event.*Missing shots during church-league basketball games (I bet a Jew would've made that free-throw).*Making lists of things they see to the understanding don't believe in.*Government laws, very clear principal enemies of His death on laws of God.*Satan, the crosschurch's best friend.
==Practices ==The bible supports numerous peaceful and god- Jesus having the knowledge that His path would lead to his own death, desired and willed that that take place, and persevered in that path though there was opportunity for Him to avoid it. "I have power to take my life and I have power to lay down my life. I lay down my life for the sheep".worshiping practices such as:
==Worship and the Sacraments=In Sports And Entertainment===[[Image:Lioncar.png|right|thumb|250px|First boat race between Narnian Lions and Christians normally attend worship services at once a week, typically on Sundays. Some denominationsLions realized they couldn't row, such as so decided to ignore the ''"boat"'' part.]]Many [[Seventh Day AdventistPagans]] and [[Atheist]]senjoy watching lions eat, worship on Saturdaysso much so that they began crowding into zoos. CommonlyFor this reason, the [[megachurchRoman Empire]]es often hold services on both Saturday evenings and Sunday mornings built structures known as ''"Colosseums"'' to accommodate growing crowdsthe throngs of lion-enthusiasts. More conservative denominationsWeekends, such as independent Baptists and churches of Christinvented by ''Julius Goober Prolapse'' in 12 AD, hold services on Sunday evenings and Wednesday evenings as wellwould fill these architectural behemoths to capacity with [[blood]]-thirsty citizens.
==Evangelism=Lawsuits===In what is called the [[Great Commission]]Animal rights activists are suing Purina, Jesus sent his disciples out into the world to preach the Gospel (literally "good news") and make disciples.:makers of ''Lion Chow'Great Commission''':''But , for including a non-Christian ingredient, the eleven disciples proceeded to [[GalileeDaVinci Code]], in shipments bound overseas in an effort to the mountain which Jesus had designatedcut costs. When they saw HimIt turns out that lions will eat and tolerate ''some'' DaVinci Code, they worshiped Him; but some were doubtfulproves fatal when eaten in a den. And Jesus came up and spoke to them, saying, "All authority has been given to Me in [[heavenLawyers]] and on [[earth]]." Go therefore and make disciples of all the nationsboth sides call each other filthy names on a regular basis, baptizing them just to keep in the name of the [[#God the Father|Father]] and the [[#God the Son|Son]] and the [[#God the Holy Spirit|Holy Spirit]], teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the agepractice."'' --[[Gospel of Matthew|Matthew]] 28:16-20 [[New American Standard Bible|NASB]][[Image:Gleyre The Departure of the Apostles.jpg|thumb|240px|The Departure of the Apostles by [[Charles Gleyre]].]]<br>
==See also==
*[[Jesus]]
*[[Pope Benedict]]
*[[Virgin Mary]]
*[[Reasons to become an atheist]]
*[[Masochristian]]
*[[Are you a heretic]]
*[[Hitler]]
*[[The Last Poker]]
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